


Four Favors Maria Called In (And One she Didn't Have To)

by Whedonista93



Series: Maria Knows Everyone [1]
Category: Chuck (TV), Leverage, Marvel Cinematic Universe, R.E.D. - Fandom, The Losers (2010)
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Don't Judge Me, Don't Read This, F/M, Gen, Rare Pairings, This is what I get for writing at 2AM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 13:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5050546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whedonista93/pseuds/Whedonista93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Maria knows everybody and does not like it when someone takes her things or her people</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Favors Maria Called In (And One she Didn't Have To)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know... just... yeah, I have no excuses.
> 
> And on a technical note, I wrote this at 2AM, I did not edit it, and it is not beta'd.

“Who the hell are you? Why the hell are you in my house? And why the hell do you have John’s phone?” she demanded in a low voice.

“Who is John to you?” the woman asked carefully instead of answering.

Maria hesitated, then shrugged, “Boyfriend? Closer to husband, really, but we’re not actually engaged or married…”

The blonde held up a hand, “Got it. I know Casey. I get it.”

Their voices finally roused the man sleeping with his head in his arms on the table. He looked blearily up at Maria before freezing momentarily then jolting to his feet, fully awake, pushing the woman behind him.

The woman looked irritated, “Chuck! What the h–”

“Stay back, Sarah. She’s a spy.” Chuck answered.

Sarah scoffed up at him, “And I’m supposed to be worried? Come on, Chuck. This is our life.”

“Where. Is. John?” Maria demanded through gritted teeth.

Sarah bit her lip and came to a quick, gut decision, “He was kidnapped.”

Maria clutched to tightly at the chair in front of her, her knuckles turned white.

 _Sarah, Chuck, John… kidnapped…_ “Shit!” Maria cursed.

Sarah and Chuck both jumped and shifted their attention fully back to her.

“John is _that_ John Casey?”

“ _What_ John Casey?” Sarah hedged.

Maria rose an eyebrow, unimpressed, “Sarah, C.I.A. Chuck, Intersect. Casey, N.S.A. _That_ John Casey.”

“How…” Sarah trailed off.

“I told you: spy.” Chuck offered. “S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Sarah paled, “S.H.I.E.L.D. I thought they… fell.”

“Yes and no. It’s complicated and I promise you don’t have the clearance.”

Sarah looked defiant, but didn’t argue.

“Who has him?” Maria asked, struggling to keep her voice steady.

“We don’t know.” Sarah answered weakly.

Maria shook her head and started muttering under her breath. _This is what I get for thinking I could retire. Live a normal life, they said, it’ll be fun, they said. Go buy a house with a white picket fence. Get a dog and boyfriend. Try some peace and quiet, you deserve it._

She didn’t realize she was speaking out loud until Chuck politely cleared his throat, “Uh, miss?”

Maria’s head snapped up; she shook it to clear her thoughts. With a deep breath, she pushed her emotions aside and focused on the problem at hand, pulling forward the cool and disinterest that had sky-rocketed her through S.H.I.E.L.D.’s ranks. “Maria. Tell me everything you do know.”

 

“Stark, I’m calling in a favor.” Maria spoke into her phone.

“Now, Agent, I don’t do those kind of things anymore. I’m monogamous these days.” the billionaire quipped.

“Stark.” Maria practically growled.

“Right. Being serious.”

“I need you to find someone. Someones, actually. I’m e-mailing you pictures and their last known location now.”

 

“Fury.”

Maria forced herself to breathe. “Sir.”

“Hill… tired of civilian life?”

“It’s tired of me, sir.”

“You coming back?”

“Apparently.”

“But first?”

“I need to borrow some resources.”

“And what are you going to do with these resources?”

“Burn someone’s playground down.”

 

“Spencer.”

Eliot spun, tense and ready to fight, “Hill.”

She smiled wanly, “Not here to fight.”

“Still not interested in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s offer.”

Maria shook her head, “Not here for S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Eliot relaxed slightly and quirked an eyebrow at her, “I’m here to call in that favor.”

“What do you need?”

“Your team.”

She handed him a file. He turned back with both eyebrows raised, “This facility is…”

“Yeah, I know. Can you get me in and someone else out?”

“Who am I getting out?”

Maria hesitated.

“Maria.” Eliot prompted gently.

She took a breath, “John Casey.”

“Shit.”

She nodded.

“And you?”

“Hmm?”

“Get you in, but just him out. Why?”

She smirked, “Because I am burning the whole place to the ground on the way out and I want him clear of it.”

Eliot nodded, as much accepting the job as her explanation.

 

“How the fuck did you get this line?” Jensen demanded indignantly at the brunette filling his computer screen.

She shrugged and frowned, “Let’s just say I owe Stark a big favor.”

Jensen sputtered, “Tony Stark?!”

The woman ignored his question. “You _are_ one of Clay’s boys, right?”

Jensen stared for moment before shrugging and deciding, “Fuck it. Clay! Video chat for you!”

Clay ambled through the door, looking both curious and grumpy. “Who is it?”

He leaned over Jensen’s shoulder and actually _smiled_ , “Maria.”

Maria smiled back, “Colonel.”

Clay shook his head, “Not anymore.”

Maria scoffed, “Bullshit.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

“You know I’m always right.” she smirked.

“If you say so. Now, what’s so important you tracked me down like this?”

Her face hardened, “We have a mutual acquaintance that I’m fairly certain we’d both like to see six feet under… at least. I’m edging toward twelve. Just to be sure. Anyway… your team knows him better than any. And you don’t have anything to lose by going after him if this doesn’t go according to plan. I need someone who can afford to take that risk.”

Clay studies her across the screen for a long moment, “What’d Max do to piss you off?”

“He kidnapped my boyfriend.”

Clay let out a low whistle, “Ouch.”

 

Maria cursed as the rocket launcher jammed.

“You know,” a voice said from behind her, “If you would’ve called me, you wouldn’t have had that problem. You know how attached Marvin is to that damn pig.”

Maria stood and smiled as she turned. “I’m not just gonna call in a bunch of old geezers every time I get in a little bind.”

“‘Old geezers,’ really? Way to make your old man feel welcome. I just thought you might appreciate your old man’s expertise in trying to get your boyfriend back from a psychopath, but if you don’t want me here…”

Maria laughed. “I’m glad you’re here, Dad.”

“Frank! Did you find –” Marvin came around a corner, stuffed pig tucked under the arm not wielding a wicked handgun. “Okay, obviously you did, so what’s taking so long? Let’s get a move on!”

“Hello to you too, Uncle Marvin.”

 

Casey blinked his eyes open blearily and closed them again at the blinding white sterility surrounding him. He allowed himself a pitiful groan.

“You awake big guy?” Chuck asked.

Casey forced his eyes back open and shifted his head to the side to see Chuck.

“Wha-?”

Chuck laughed and offered him a glass of water.

“What happened?”

“You were kidnapped. By a megalomaniac named Max.”

“You guys got me back.”

Chuck flinched. “Not exactly.”

Casey quirked an eyebrow at him.

Chuck chewed on his lip for a minute before finally asking , “You remember that time I got kidnapped and trapped in South America?”

Casey nodded slowly.

“Your girlfriend is _way_ scarier than Sarah… and she knows _everybody_.”


End file.
